The “F” Word

It’s strange how loaded the word Father is to each of us. It can be a word that brings us joy. It can make us cry. The word Father can cause us to grit our teeth in years of suppressed anger or encourage us with a strength that can seem to come from no other. We use the word father to mean our daddy, a priest, or our God.

As Father’s day approaches this weekend, I can’t help but want to pay tribute….but paying tribute can only seem for those who’s fathers were present, supportive and protective. So what about the rest of us?

I think about one of my best friend’s who lost his dad several years ago. I think about the nostalgia and the tears that accompany Father’s day. I think about how I would want to tell his dad thank you for turning him onto music and making it possible for him to see the band U2 when he was 13 because it brought inspiration and direction to his life. I would want to tell him to be proud of his son that is now a talented drummer and will be opening for U2 in September. I’d also want to tell him, that I wish he could give him some guidance on how to have a successful relationship because he could really use that right now in his life.

I think about my friend, that will have to walk down the aisle without her daddy by her side….not because he is no longer alive, he is. See, he walked out on her and her mother years ago. He sees her on some holidays every other year and maybe calls when he remembers her birthday. I would tell him, if I could, that he is really missing out on getting to know an extraordinary woman with a compassionate heart and a wicked sense of humor. I wonder if she gets that sense of humor from him.

And then there’s my friend that never even knew who her dad was. She grew up without a strong male role model. She always felt like the word rejected never gave her a fair chance in life. I think about how my friend has spent 28 years of her life searching for what it means to really be loved and accepted. She has given herself away way too easy at times and at other times built walls around her wounded heart that seem like they will never come down. I would ask him to tell her that she is beautiful just the way she is.

Oh, how I think about 3 close friends of mine that have become fathers in the last few months! Congratulations! What joy! What love! What an opportunity! You have been given the chance to have and be one of the most influential persons in someone’s life. You get to be someone’s provider, protector, teacher, support, encourager and guide. You get the chance to be just like your father or like the father you wish you had. The bond between a child and their father can only be paralleled by that of the bond between a child and its mother.

However, there is something so unique about the bond with a father, that I am not even sure I can ever do it justice. It seems to be built into our hearts; something innate in our soul that longs for a father, even when we don’t know what a good father should be like. I think that is because our Creator is our heavenly Father. We run into snags, some bigger and deeper than others, when we see our Heavenly Father through the lenses of our biological father. Here is some great news….God is the ultimate Father. He created us, loves us unconditionally and gives us enough freedom to learn the lessons that will refine us. He disciplines us. Sometimes we do not understand why certain circumstances are allowed into our lives, but like a good father, He never lets us out of His sight.

So as we approach Father’s Day, let’s reflect not only on the successes (or the failures) of our dad, but perhaps we try to praise our Father for being exactly what our soul needs.