Don’t Hate, Participate!

I am a hard worker.  I am a really hard worker.  But when the elements of my workplace are not right, I have a hard time being that hard worker.  One thing I have learned about myself is when I am working with a good leader I want to work hard for them, producing good results. But when I do not respect my leader (due to hypocrisy or poor decision making), it is really tough for me to be motivated.  In recent months major changes have occurred in my workplace and those changes came close to home.  I was about to lose my most favorite manager in the world.  I would not only loose her but she would possibly be replaced by someone who held my kryptonite!

I had met her a couple of times in the past since she was friends with one of my co-workers.  My first impression of her was let’s just say, not good.  The very first time I met her, she came across brute, strong, and harsh with her thick curly hair and sharp edged face.  Her voice was husky and low and I sensed some attitude in her tone.  She straight up looked like a bully and I felt no kindness or warmth.  When I found out she was going to be a fellow co-worker at a different location I thought to myself, “How did she even get hired to do such a personable job?”  Since my career consists of high pressure sales, we get email updates all the time with numbers and rankings.  Several weeks later I saw her name on top of the list and I automatically thought that she had to be doing something shady to get all those sales.   I began to say things that I shouldn’t have said to my friends at work, telling them that I was sure that she was manipulating the system and that there was no way she could be doing so well.  I was convinced her success was a result of lies and shadiness.

Well you can just imagine what I felt when I found out she was going to managing my store!  My stomach was turned upside down and I freaked out.  How can I be managed by someone who was so unfriendly and someone I couldn’t trust?  She eventually came in for her first day and she looked exactly the same as before….cold and mean.  She didn’t say much to us and when she did, it was emotionless yet again confirming all my impressions of her.

As days went on and more conversation was spoken, I started warming up to her.  There was no reason for me to be so distant to someone who basically had my career’s future in her hands.  I started opening up slowly on making myself more vulnerable, asking her if she wanted some coffee on my coffee runs, talking about things that weren’t bank related… little things like that.
To make a long story short, I was completely wrong about her.   She was still a strong woman, but in a nurturing and caring way.  She coached me and made me into a stronger worker and about a week later, she landed me an interview for a new position.  Since she believed in me so much, she went out of her way and used her resources and her network in order for me to get an interview.  She helped me with my resume, my business plan and basically did everything I needed to prep for the interview.  The next day I had the interview and got the job!  With no doubt, I could not have done it without her.

How could someone I disliked so much have such an impact in my life? It is times like these I realize that I can’t judge someone by the first impression.  I honestly have always thought I was “gifted” in figuring people out from the start but boy was I put in my place!  It’s crazy how sure I was of myself, come to find out I was so wrong.  There is no way to figure someone out and place judgments in the first few meetings.  As a banker I meet and work with a wide variety of people, all different ages, sizes, color, backgrounds and personalities and to be honest, it’s very hard not to judge them from what I see.  Why do I naturally have all these impressions of people just by what they wear, how much money they have and what they look like?  And why is at times so negative?  If I can be so wrong about who someone is, what do people think of me???  I don’t even want to know.  I guess we are just in a world full of stereotypes.  Whether it be from our personal experiences, experiences of others, or media, we are influenced to think certain ways from what we visually see.

God makes it very clear we are not to judge people or point fingers at others and it is mentioned in the bible many times over and over again. But why is it so much easier to look at others and criticize rather than look at ourselves?  I think the world or even in my community alone would change drastically for the better if people were to look at themselves as much as they look at others and be proactive in trying to be a “better” person.  If we took the time to do this, it’s probable that we wouldn’t be as apt to say negative things about others nor would we categorize or make any assumptions.  I know the world would be a better place with less hate, violence and insecurities if everyone would just work out their own problems instead of spreading rumors, gossiping, and being manipulative.  It really is up to us to start making that difference, not just for ourselves but for the world and maybe slowly but surely it would produce a domino effect and spread throughout the nations.  It blows my mind that something I tend to do almost everyday can potentially have such a negative impact.  I am definitely not perfect nor can i say that I will never judge anyone ever again, however I do think that there is enough value to at least try and be conscious with my thoughts and judgments which then can hopefully make a slight difference in myself and others.

1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
(the message) Matthew 7:1-3